But for the last three months or more, I've been on a daily routine, through no fault of my own. I fell into it, you might say, not due to anything I was reading or thinking. At most I just sort of felt it was time to "get serious" (an unfortunate terminology). And I've hardly missed a day.
True, sometimes I sit there for a few minutes and can't focus at all, and quit. Sometimes I sit there for a half hour drifting with my thoughts, hardly practicing awareness. I fidget a lot. Hey, I didn't say I was doing well, just that I was doing it. Part of my problem is always doing it right before bed, when I'm too tired. But I'm pleased overall; it's a step. And sometimes I do sit there calm and focused, really in the spirit of Zen.
On occasion I use mantras, like "so-hum" or "om mani padme hum" but mostly I just sit, watching the breath, or my heartbeat, or trying to use sound by accepting all I hear without comment. This is harder than it sounds, and I fail mostly. Sometimes I think I need a few months in a monastery to really succeed. Doing this alone, with no one to push me but myself, no one around to feel at least a sort of peer pressure to keep sitting... not easy. Right now, no one cares if I jump up three minutes into a twenty minute session.
The biggest help I know of, to fight the urge to stop meditating is: no matter what you're doing, it's what you wanted to do. And, I try to connect with the spirit of the thing, with the thousands of others who must be meditating at any given moment. That doesn't help much, but a little, maybe. At any rate, I hope to slowly improve my attention as I continue to do this, as this sitting is at least now a routine.
"Often my motivation would have to do with whatever book I happened to be reading; that is, reading a book about eastern philosophy or spirituality often put me in the mind of meditating, but not long after the book was done, interest waned."
ReplyDeleteIf that's truly the case, continue reading books of that nature...therefore your interest won't wane.
In other words, whatever works.
ReplyDeleteSometimes we are in need of a coach, in need of a teacher, but if there is not a coach or a teacher present, sometimes a book may be a suitable substitute.
Yeah, but it seems rather shallow; plus it proves only an intellectual interest in it, rather than something deeper.
ReplyDeleteHey I'm just saying if it worked for you in the past, it may work for you again.
ReplyDeleteOkay, let me put it this other way...in response to this:
"Sometimes I think I need a few months in a monastery to really succeed. Doing this alone, with no one to push me but myself, no one around to feel at least a sort of peer pressure to keep sitting... not easy."
If you need help with your meditation, whether that be motivation or advice on techniques, but are unable at this time to access a teacher or to join a monastery, a book written by a meditation teacher, whether that be Taoist, Buddhist, Christian or whatever, could possibly be helpful to you.
I don't think a book is shallow at all. But of course the book itself is not the actual practice, but guidance for your practice. In this sense, a book is like a map, and your practice is the actual territory. So in that sense, I suppose you could call a book shallow, but it's still a useful guide.
Books are nothing less than solidified ideas. If you had a teacher, how else do you expect them to teach you without using words? All words by their very nature are intellectual, so what difference does it make whether the words are spoken or written?
However, I'm not saying you should learn exclusively from books, but just that they can be helpful, at least as a partial supplement to your practice.
But if you don't need it, and are you're doing fine on your own, great.
Well my point was that my interest in meditation waned quickly, and had only to do with the fact I was reading a book about such things. Usually my interest in reading about it waned at the same time. I wasn't reading the book to help me meditate, I was meditating because the book had interested me in it briefly.
ReplyDeleteBut this time, it's coming from something within, some urge or drive to sit, rather than an external and ephemeral experience like a book or a movie.
But I agree, books are useful. To be sure, all I know about meditating, and spirituality in general, has come from reading books or websites.
A little late to this thread, but I would just suggest that in fact communal meditation is very good. It does help "enforce" the discipline, and my observation is that there is a collective qi that is generated that enhances the practice. This goes for oractically any of the Taoist arts, like qigong and taiji. When you're well practiced, it is easy to do them on your own, alone. But group experiences are motivating. But nothing wrong with reading a lot...I do that.
ReplyDeleteBut doing these practices with a real master is particularly helpful. All the videos and text I ever consulted did not have the impact of my first "qi activation" with a flesh and blood teacher. And every time I practice with a teacher, it kicks things up a notch.
A bit late myself, No hard and fast rules, just be happy you can even get those few minutes. Meditation is like writing in a journal, there will be periods of nothing written and boom it's flowing like the Tao. I like the way Roshi Hogan puts it: "the meditation that was used by Taoist elders was to simply sit and observe, to let the mind run free like a clear flowing river". and a further thought...who taught the first class on meditation?
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