It's hard to laugh when you're alone. For me it is, anyways. Harder, anyways. Occasionally I see things that are funny enough to bring a laugh, but somehow, sharing a comical event with others makes the laughter rise more easily, more fully. I love to laugh; so I think this is largely why I find myself drawn to others.
Yet, often I fight my loneliness. I know it's weird, but when I feel lonely, I don't ask myself how I can better integrate with other people, I ask myself what is wrong with me that I am not comfortable being alone. Strange. Humans are, of course, a social species, it's only natural to want companionship. Yet I am not just human, I'm a philosopher. We all are, of course. It's a condition of thinking. So, I think, why is it I can't find the humor and zest of life but under certain conditions, those being social conditions? Is life really a serious thing, where we only find safe harbor and relief in the huddled warmth of the social sphere? I don't believe that at all.
Sometimes, of course, the laughter comes when I'm on my own. Watch a funny movie, or watch animals behave as they do, it's comical, it's hard to not smile, it's a matter of simply seeing. But, mostly there's just a sort of anxiety, an emptiness, a feeling of disconnectedness. It is that feeling of being cut off that I focus on when I persue this question. How to open oneself up, to find the joy and bliss in common experience? How to be a laughing Buddha myself, hmm...
I know it has something to do with relaxing, somehow. But I just don't quite get it.